Have you ever...

been to a funeral and really wondered what the family members were thinking? Sure, people are mourning, but you have to wonder about the people who don't show any emotion at all - it is really ineteresting to me - I have been observing this for such a long time - but I guess it depends on the circumstances - which of course makes sense.

How old was the person -
How did they die -
was it a long or short illness -

Soooo if I feel that I can't "read" the family or friends... I make it my mission to make eye contact with them - I know, that is horrible.

It seems when I sing for funerals, anytime I try to make eye contact with someone in the congregation,  they almost immediately turn away,  they don't react to the music, or the message I am trying to send.  The only ones that seem to look back are very old people and young children (who usually wave at me!) I find it so fascinating why people don't want to make that connection.  They almost look ashamed.  So then I start thinking (which we all know is never a good thing for me to do) 'what if they feel guilty about something they said or did to the deceased' and they cant look at me - it almost feels as though if they actually  look at me, I would be able to suddenly read their minds ....

All I have to say to that is..

Be careful what you wish for....

peace, love and coffee-

Meliss-

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Wow.. where has the time gone -

Hey everyone-

I have to apologize - I have been so busy, singing (not for funerals, mind you) and teaching and basic family stuff that I have neglected you.  I hope you can forgive me..

Know that I am here - but let's do something a little different..

Do you have any questions.. any thoughts.. I am opening up the floor to you -

Bring it!!!!!

Peace out..

Melissa

Justin.. he's back...

I have gotten some requests for more stories about Justin, my seminarian friend.. I can't disappoint the public!  He truly is a wonderfully funny sarcastic human being.. So, not only do I sing funerals, I also sing for weekend services and holidays and Justin is usually there.  So let's take a look at Easter and how Justin, our seminarian did....

Ah, where to begin -  So I get to church for Easter Vigil (sixth night of passover for all my Jewish friends) and there he is.. rushing around looking like a chicken with his head cut off. Trying to get everything organized - you would think he was the head honcho.  He was training the alter servers on how they will process down the aisle of the church.  "Now you two will follow the Father.. hellooo.. are you listening.. hello"  I love the blank stare that the Alter servers gave him.. cuz it just made his blood boil even more.. finally he got them to listen - and after that was over I went over to him and said - " Man, The Baptismal font looks great".. he stares at me and says, "It should, I would all day on it!" Earlier that day, after morning prayer, he had to drain it, scrub it, and  seal it.. I swear, If the priest thing does not work out he could get a job as a subcontractor for cleaning out ponds or pools with a landscaping company.  All he could do was complain that the font was filthy, and how did that happen, was it not sealed properly.. and on and on.. I just kept laughing - he was looking for the sympathy vote.. So not going to happen Justin...

Ok, sorry I sidetracked.. so back to Easter Vigil - It truly is a beautiful service.  It starts outside where the priest says many readings and what the light of Christ means and the meaning of the Easter Candle .  Then the Easter candle is lit - and they come into the church, where it is completely dark, and the Deacon comes in and sings.. "light of Christ".. and I lead the congregation, "thanks be to God"
During this time, the altar servers (after their intense training with Justin) light their candles and go to the end of a pew and they light the candles that the congregants are holding.. the whole church lights up slowly, (this is my favorite part of the service) Once the whole church is lit, I start singing the exultant - in the dark.. Thank God I have my candle! 

Finally, the lights go up - and our service begins - now during this special service, I have to sing three responsorial psalms.  Fine, I have done that before - and they are to be sung at what is called the Ambo. Which is where the gospel is read.  After all of this, I have to sing the alleluia, which is sung before the gospel is read - now realize that the during all of lent, the word alleluia as not been mentioned.

But I, quickly glancing at my script of what is to happen, see the words "gradual psalm." Not putting together that I had to go to the other side of the altar to my cantor stand where I do most of the singing.. so there I am singing the Alleluia from the ambo- and when I am done, Father Paul mouths to me.. "why did you do the alleluia from there?"  I said to myself.. 'oh crap'.. what was I thinking - I have done this a million times.. where was my brain.. I am blaming it on Justin.  But while this was going on, Justin was walking around following the Father with the incense - which was smoking so much I swear he was trying to smoke us out! 

So finally as the Gospel was being read, Justin was standing there with the incense, swinging it back and forth, to make more smoke.. I swear he was going to light himself or one of the priests on fire.

There is more to tell - but I think we all need to digest this part the first ... first.

Peace out kiddies..

Meliss-

This week- a question for you....

- This week we had two funerals in one morning - I know, right before the Easter holiday - How hard is that for families this time of year.  The first one of the morning was so  so sad.. Another sweetheart death - this time only 6 weeks apart. The Husband past six weeks prior to the wife - How does one deal with that - I can't even imagine.  Less than two months, your parents are gone. Poof.. that is it. I know we don't have any control over when we have to "graduate" to wherever we are going next, but here is the question of the day -

Would you be better off knowing that someone is going to die, or happen suddenly?


I truely would love to know what you all are thinking.. I am so grateful for my readers..

Peace, Love and Coffee

Meliss-

Where is my coat?

I know it has been awhile kids - and for this I apologize - but I am back!  Ok. so here we go -

Once again, I got the message that we are doing a funeral and not only is Ted back playing for me ( how happy am I!) We have to sing some stuff in Italian - but Ted forgot his Italian psalm book - so I had something in my folder that he had used before, so we were all set.  It was great to see him, he and I have such a rhythm when it comes to working together - it is just a bunch of happy.

Wait.. happy at a funeral?  What is wrong with me!  My bad. Anywho, on to the service. Our deceased was an older woman who had a very full life and loved to cook.  The eulogy that was given was short and very sweet - so we know that Ted was happy. As the funeral progressed, I was watching the altar servers of the day.  Not our norm.  Some people call these guys the "B Team" - horrible, right?  God bless them, they are older, so you know they don't move very fast and can't remember everything that they are supposed to be doing for the priest during the service. They looked so lost-

After communion was over and they were getting ready to incense the body  - Ted and I look over and there is one of the altar servers putting on his bright orange coat!  Ted shoots a glare at me like.. What the Hell is he doing now!  I just shook my head and went on with my singing (but you know deep down inside I was laughing my head off)  We knew that they were walking over to the cemetery and apparently, this gentleman did not think to put his coat in the back of the church - man his coat was bright.  Well, as they processed out of the church, we sang our last hymn Amazing Grace.  Now when were done, we went into the sacristy where our coats were and I went to get my coat and it was not there!  I turned to Ted and said.. "Where the heck is my coat?"  We look all around and then I came up with it - Orange coat man had taken my black coat to the back of the church thinking it was the priests!  It was comical! So I walk to the back of the church looking for my coat - and I look at one of the altar servers and ask.. have you seen my coat - it was back in the sacristy and now it is gone.  I mean it is a really nice coat.. but come on.  So our Orange Coat man picked up my coat and was more than apologetic, saying that he thought it was Father's coat.  "No problem" I said..

You just can't make this stuff up-


Peace out kiddies..

M

Holy smokes Batman!

So as I go to sing a service on Sunday, Father Paul tells me in passing that there will be another funeral this week.  No problem - that is why I leave my mornings open!  But he started to tell the story of this funeral that was coming up -

He was called out of a dinner to go to see this family who had just lost their wife, aunt. When he got there he met with the niece and nephew and their uncle (the deceased's husband) Randy. Now I need to preface this by saying Uncle Randy is pretty much deaf - can't really hear anything.  So the niece and nephew said that they thought their aunt was dead - and Father agreed. But then they said - "yes, and Uncle Randy got out a stethoscope and listened for a heartbeat and could not hear a thing!"  Ok, folks, what is wrong with this picture, of course Randy could not hear a thing.. HE IS DEAF! 

So after Father Paul finishes telling this story and I am laughing so hard.. his delivery was excellent -

But Randy and his wife Mary were a sweet couple - married 58 years.. unreal!  And before Mary died, Father Paul asked her if she was still in love with Randy  - and with a  burst of energy she said YES!!!
Father said it made his heart so warm.  It is all about the love -

So, yesterday was the funeral.  And Susan was there to play for me - and so we would not be  too surprised on what the music was going to be -( no hymns from 1745) - I called Father Paul and asked what we were to sing - he responded "Nothing out of the ordinary... the husband is deaf!"  Good point.  We did the normal stuff - but what happened during the service was funny to me.

There comes a part in the service where the Priest will incense the altar.  Now let me set up the scene for you - He has two altar servers - Fitz is 81 and Tom is 79 - a very spry bunch. Their job, while Father is doing his homily, is to go back and set up the incense so it is ready to go when it is time for the presentation of the gifts -

So they get it ready and the gifts are presented.  Then Father starts to put in the incense.. well was there incense!  The smoke from the incense was so much, Father was looking through the smoke to try and find me while he was incensing the altar.. I think it surprised him!  It did not phase me in the least, because I grew up in a eastern orthodox church where we had incense every Sunday for at least two hours straight - so when I saw this, it brought back nice memories.. but also made me laugh!

Then the dynamic duo (our spry servers) need to bring the wine and water to the priest so he can finish his job - well I am singing Ave Maria at this point and they brought the wine to him, but forgot the water - so I ended up, while singing, picking up the water and handing it to the server. I know, I know,... I am smoooth..... I never missed a beat. LOL

The rest of the service went fine - except when they were going to take the casket out of the church. Back in the day, the pall bearers from the  funeral home would turn the casket around  (toes first I guess) to head out of the church.  Now a days, this practice is normally not done anymore. So they tried to do it yesterday and Father turns around and says... "In this church we do not turn the casket around" The pall bearer huffed a little to him - so Father responded by saying.. "you may do it in other churches but not this one"

and off they went.

We ended with Eagle's Wings and ta da.. it was done..Later I asked Father why he was looking at me so funny during the presentation - he said he was trying to see me through the smoke!

Just another day in the life of  a funeral singer!

Peace out kiddies..

M-

Technology can be a blessing....

Well, last week was a slow one - I truly think that this is the first time since the fall that I did not have a funeral - hey, it happens - I have been so blessed to sing so many and to bring comfort to alot of families. 

But...

We are up and running this week - starting with yesterday.  An older gentleman, 89 years  - lived a full life, was very honest, you knew where you stood with him!  Loving, compassionate Father, Grandfather and friend.  It was clear that this man was truly loved.

I get there about 15 minutes before the ceremony is to start and there is one of my favorite organists/pianists Gina.  She is such a great player.  Anyway, she is talking to Father Paul and he is singing away - he was trying to remember this really old hymn that the family requested.  Now, I know sometimes that the music is last minute - but we did not have this music anywhere.

So Father Paul calls the office and asks one of the ladies there, to find the lyrics and please print them out.  In the mean time, Gina is sitting at the piano  - playing the chorus - and while she is playing, she is saying.. "I can't remember the lyrics.. it has been about 42 years since I sang this in grade school!" 
I start to laugh - seriously, at this point, I don't know if we were going to be able to do it - but she and I have been in situations before where at the last minute, we find out we are doing a song that has not been done in a million years.

Right before the service starts, one of the women from the office comes over to the church and hands me two copies of the words for this song!  We were thrilled - they had gone online and found the lyrics.. but I still needed to hear what the verses sounded like - so on my iPhone, I pulled up YouTube and found the song.. I was able to listen to it and get the melody in my head.  Prior to this, Gina had called her husband and asked him to sing the lyrics to her... she totally put him on speaker and was laughing quietly - it was funny - and then she asked him to go and look for the music or lyrics..She did text him back to let him know that the office had found the lyrics for us, so he was off the hook. 
Well the time came where we had to sing this hymn during communion.  Gina looks at me and says "Good luck and see you at the end!" I smiled and giggled a little.  Well, the song went off quite well - it is all about survival and creative singing!  See, I knew I got these music degrees for something! 

The family was appreciative and at the end of the day, that is all that matters!

Here is the hymn  - take a listen.. 'Hear O Lord'

We have so many blessings in our lives... and yesterday, technology was one of mine! 

Have a great day -

Peace  love and coffee...

Meliss-

Justin....

I have been waiting to talk about Justin for quite some time - Now you have all met the many people in my life - Father Paul, Rafael, and of course Ted... but let me tell you a bit about Justin...

Justin is 27  years old and is pursuing the priesthood.  He currently is in his first year at seminary.  Justin is not your typical seminarian.. at least I don't think so.  Dont' get me wrong, he is a man of faith.. He truly is - but he is one of the funniest, most cynical people I have ever met.

I met young Justin over a year ago and it was love at first sight.  We hit it off right away - finishing each other sentences, thoughts.. it was hysterical. I do believe at one point, our Pastor was a bit jealous of our friendship - but that was ok. We would just end up making fun of everything and everyone.. very juvenile - but so much fun.  I felt like I was in high school.  People talk about having soul mates in their lives and usually they mean love and my husband is definitely mine, but Justin is another - not love - well not that kind of love.. it is definitely an unbelievable friendship that has blossomed over the last year and a half. When I met Justin he was in what they call "the house of discernment"  - this is the place where you go before you make the decision to go to seminary.  I would look forward to all the stories that Justin  - had to offer. They were always so colorful and hysterical.

Over that year, he spent a huge portion of it at the church where I work.  Learning the ropes of being in a church, running certain programs, being the beck and call boy.  Every weekend was a new adventure for him and I got to listen to it - all of it, the good, bad and the ugly. But every step of the way was so funny - I could not stand it. 

The things he does for Father Paul at church are hysterical - here is a little list of things he has done.

• clean the floor
• rearrange flowers
• wash chalices
• scrape wax off the sanctuary tile
• clear a cobweb from a light
• adjust the heat
• and yes, go carpet shopping

I need to tell you what it is like to watch Justin 'sing' at church.  His whole take on Music in church is quite interesting -  Justin won't admit it, but he likes the music in church - but he does not like the contemporary stuff - he makes fun of it.  I try to tell him that the contemporary music gets the kids more involved... and then he responds that he does not really like children or people for that matter.  I laugh - he is such a people person. But he will say almost anything to get a reaction.

So listen, Just got a text from Justin - I have to go - don't worry, there will be more on Justin in the future...

Peace out kiddies..

M

A wedding - huh? Part 2

So if you have been reading, I actually had to sing for the wed yesterday!  So I figured it being so close to Valentine's day, what the heck.....

And if you know me and my sarcasm -  you know what I am thinking...how much will the color red will be brought into the wedding theme - there are sooo many ways they can go with this.. and really, I was hoping for the best - really I was..

So let's get right to it- the men's  tuxes were a lovely black - with a white rose boutonniere - but they had those vest cumber bun thingies.. and what color were the vests.. yes, people, a deep red.  Now,  I am looking at them thinking, well I guess it is not that bad.. it could be worse.. they could have red bow ties on - but thank goodness they didn't. On an positive note -    The groom looked so handsome, in his classic black tux with classic white vest/tie and red rose boutonniere.  Classic.

Ok, now onto the bridesmaids - Now after seeing the the first dress come down the aisle - I was saying to myself.. "ok - these dresses are going to be lovely - deep cranberry redish.. similar color of dress to the vests - but then I realized that each bridesmaid had a different style of dress - and I totally get it - different shaped people, different dresses.. fine (sorry to all my bridesmaids.. but you did all look awesome)  but there is something about a strapless bridesmaid dress that just does not work for me in a CHURCH! Sorry - just did not look right - but I move on...  Then came the maid of honor - same color dress but with a white ribbon around the middle - I guess it was to tie into the brides dress - it just did not work for me. Then there were  two flower girls prior to the bride's entrance their dresses were gorgeous and so were they!

The Bride:  She looked beautiful.  All brides do.. Then I saw her shoes.... Red High Heel Sandals... yep. I said it  - it is out there in the universe.... I understand the idea of throwing a little red into the mix..as the white ribbon was thrown in the mix with the maid of Honor dress~ but red shoes.. wowie... it was something I have never seen - EVER -

The actual music consisted of  typical wedding songs, secular and sacred.. including, dare I say it.. yes .. The Wedding Song - between all of you and me - I just don't like this song.  Never have, never will - and the fact that it is still sung just reminds me of 1972 and everyone had long flowing sea foam green chiffon dresses on, while wearing  flower wreaths in their hair and the men with their long sideburns ala the Lawrence Welk show, Laugh in.. you get the picture- but I digress..I am thinking that  the person who plays for weddings at this church needs a wedding music makeover.. huh.. is there a reality show for that?

So now I am sitting there watching them get married.. it was lovely - truly.. - but the cynical side of me is thinking -  what happens to those who's marriages (God forbid) don't work out?  Valentine's day is ruined for them.  FOREVER - seriously, how can they ever get that feeling back?  It will never be the same and then you will end up like me..disliking Valentine's day.

Let's hope that this couple has a long marriage - and that it is full of love...

Peace out kiddies..

and Happy Black Monday

M

A wedding - huh?

I know.. I know...a wedding.. wait singing for the dead  Wed?  Well it kind of shocked me too - Weddings are so few and far between now a days and with Valentine's Day coming up, I thought.. what the heck..


The wedding is this afternoon - so stay tuned....

Peace out kiddies...

M

Jack Fitzpatrick -96

It started out like any other funeral request. Got the text from Beth, " Funeral tomorrow @10?" I respond with a quick "yep and thanks!"  So I get up the next morning, get my family off for the day and proceed on to the church.  It was a beautiful day - well beautiful for New York on a February morning after 25 snow and ice storms with mounds of snow everywhere, blocking people's vision in seeing other cars, but I am not bitter.. lol!  I arrived at the church exactly at the same time as Beth - our timing is becoming quite good! 

So we say our morning pleasantries, go into her office and start preparing.  Of course, the list of music is already decided before the service - so Beth hands it to me, I look it over - no worries.. we have done all of these selections before.  I get my folder and go out into the church

As I walk in I start setting up my stuff, I see one of the altar servers - Cindy.  Now she and I have become friendly because we both travel to the same place in Jersey in the summer.  She tells me a funny story about the ice cream parlor in town  - how they have a "summer countdown" counter out - I giggled.. too funny - then we both figure we had better get a move on and finish setting up.  I then take my psalm that I am to sing and put it on the shelf under the ambo (so I don't have to carry it with me)
- set the rest of my music up and then make the announcement to the congregation saying "as you can hear by the bells, the family has arrived and we will be starting shortly."  I give them the opening hymn number and step down thinking we had a few more minutes, but the Pastor started immediately. 

Now the deceased 'Jack' had an amazingly long life.  96 years.  I found out so much about him - how giving he was, how he always helped everyone.  I think my favorite thing was that he worked in a food kitchen well into his early 90's!  But you could tell he was loved deeply by his family - and it was evident that he made an impact on so many other lives, probably through his volunteering - because for someone who was that old, the attendance for the church was pretty full!  I guess we truly never realize how many lives we can touch throughout our own here on this earth.  The pastor made a good point in his homily about Jack - he said..

"Jack's life has not ended but has changed, and it is a mystery to us what happens next but not to Jack"  I felt very comforted by these words.  How do we know what happens next - Do we exist as balls of energy? Does our soul get recycled?  Do we have other lives that we will lead?

Believe it or not, I do ask myself these questions -

Do you?  Let me know...

Peace out kiddies..

M

Eulogy class

Ok, so I dont know what has been happening lately, but the eulogies at funerals lately have been soooo long!  I went to see my organist Beth at her church for a few funerals last week - and for the most part they were very run of the mill.  But.. of course there was one of them where there were words of rememberance given by the children of the deceased. Fine, no problem.  So the daughter gets up and talks about her Dad and how funny and smart he was - it was all very sweet.  Then her brother got up there. He had pages.. yes, pages of a eulogy - and of course he starts out, "I know Fthr Bob said to keep it to five minutes, well I will do the best that I can." You and I both know that he had no intentions of keeping it to five minutes -   Well, now it is 20 minutes later, I  am looking around to see what is going on. I look at the priest, he is trying to get the attention of the daughter so he can tell her to move her brother along - I look at my organist, she is so calm and collect - man, I love her.  Of course inside, I am laughing because I love to watch the reactions of those I am working with - this business is crazy.

But in the end, the son finishes and I see the look of relief on the priest's face.  I mean let's look at from the the side of the mourning. One can understand that when they have just lost someone so dear to them, of course it is hard to see them go.  They feel that this is the time to talk about what a wonderful life that this person had lived. But on the other hand,  the way to keep the deceased alive is to tell stories,  and keep telling them. This is the way to keep the memories alive and by doing that, they keep them alive in their hearts.   

 So now we are at another part of the service where there are many readings of those who are sick or others who have died.  Thedeceased brother was the one doing these readings  - and after the reading, he is still at the ambo (pulpit) and says - "And I would like to take a minute to talk about....." 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  I look at my organist - Beth is mouthing .. "oh no oh no" We had no idea this was going to happen - but it was short and really harmless.  I was thinking to myself - what is going to happen next?

He got off of the altar and the rest of the service went on as planned - I did notice that some of the responses I did sing a bit faster than normal - but it was all good.

If I can leave you with any advice  - if you are going to have a eulogy, keep it short - save the long one for possibly a reception after the funeral - everyone will be a little more relaxed and more receptive to what you are saying..huh..maybe I should teach a eulogy class..

Peace out kiddies...

M

45 minutes.. really?

Ok, so it is Martin Luther King day, I did not have to teach that day, but there was a funeral in the morning which is fine.  So I get ready, drink my coffee, say goodbye to the family and say - "I should be back in a couple of hours - at the most."  HA!  Boy was I wrong -

I get to church and our regular church organist was playing the funeral today  - groovy.  The funeral was to start at 10:30 - but they were late - not that big of a surprise, the weather has been kind of crappy, so things were taking a bit longer -  it happens.

 The family and funeral home finally arrived.  I went to the back of the church to check on something - I can't recall what it was now - but I was approached by the funeral home director and was told that everyone was to receive a flower - because one of the children of the deceased, the one that was going to give a eulogy, asked if the grandchildren would pass out a flower to each person because there was going to be relevance to the flowers in the eulogy. Ok, fine - nice touch.   You are probably wondering "how does that affect you if you are there to sing?"  Well that is a valid question.   All it meant was that we had to keep singing the opening hymn until everyone had flowers and was seated - it did not take as long as I thought it might. 

So then our new priest, Father Rafael, says " I would like to invite Richard to come up an say a few words"  Notice how he said .. "a few" So I go back in the sacristy, thinking, "This won't take long"  The eulogy begins - and Richard was a low talker  - so I could not get everything he was saying.  After about ten minutes I was thinking to myself, "well he should be done soon" - and my organist agreed. Then another ten minutes went by.. ok, now it is getting to be a bit long.  At this point, my organist actually fell asleep in his chair in the sacristy. Now Richard was recalling his mother's life - but I think he was going year by year, at one point I heard.. "In 1938... and then later on I heard .. then in 1985" Really?
Finally another 15 minutes later, my organist woke up and said. "Oh man, where are we - "  I respond, "he is still talking"  He rolls his eyes and closes them again. 

All the time this was going on, I was texting Father Paul telling him what was happening.  I was not getting a response - although I was hoping too.  I also was texting my friend Justin - now Justin is a first year seminary student and is a riot to be around.  A very sweet guy, but very cynical. So, I was telling him how long this funeral was going on and he responded, "oh too bad, I am in my bed at school"  I respond "Nice"   He said "poor Rafael"  No kidding.  At one point, I ended up looking out there to make sure that Father did not fall asleep - he didn't.   Such a patient man.

Well after 45 minutes, Richard finally stopped eulogizing.  The altar servers, who are older men of the parish, came back and one of them said.. "45 minutes, I can't believe it, 45 minutes"  He was right - I checked the clock and just shook my head.

As the mass continued and the organist suggested that I just sing one verse of the psalm. I said "no, that is not fair", although I totally agreed with him..   He finally agreed that I was right - but let me tell you, the rest of the service went along pretty quickly -

We then came to the end of the service - a great - grandchild of the deceased was to sing the closing hymn, "Amazing Grace." She was like 11 years old - she had a pretty decent voice!  The only problem was that there are five verses of the song - and we are not sure where it came from, but she sang three extra verses!  And when she was done, the congregation applauded - not really appropriate in church, but it was important to the family - I thought it was sweet.  After she was done and the family went on their way, our organist said to me, "I have been in this business for 35 years, and I have NEVER heard of those three extra verses!" 

I just started to laugh -

Normally when I do a funeral it takes about 50 minutes or so.. but this funeral was almost 2 hours..It was the long funereal I have done this year.  The next day, we had a terrible snow storm, and alot of the schools were cancelled.  My organist is also a school teacher - so I asked him if he had school, he said "no but it is good because I am still recovering from yesterday's funeral."  Nice.

Being "On Call"

I was talking to a friend the other day and she said that I should write a post and talk about being "on call."  I thought about it and said "huh, I never really thought of it that way."  It's very interesting thing if you think about it - no I don't have a beeper - but I do have my cell phone and, as you know, I get text messages.  and they can come in anytime.

I started to think more about it and it kind of made me laugh - Really think about it - I am "on call" to sing at someones funeral.  I know, I know,  not as important as a doctor - with them saving lives and all - but get this.. I guess I help send them off to the next part of their journey. Now that is pretty darn cool.

I did not always sing so many funerals - Like any business, one has to build up their clients, and no I don't mean the families ha ha - the churches and funeral homes.   Alot of my work comes from referrals - that is how I built this part of my business to where it is today.  Not to say that I am singing funerals five days a week - but it is growing - hey, it is a kind of thing where there will always be a need.  And I am truly glad that I am able to help families make their loved ones 'send off' hopefully a special and touching celebration of life.

If you were to ask me 10 years ago that I would be singing for funerals and blogging about it - I would have laughed at that idea.  But now, I am glad that I was lead on this journey and I truly am glad that I am
"on call"

Peace, love and coffee

M

Miss Devine

I think there is a reason this lovely woman's last name was Devine! I had to talk about this most recent funeral - she lived to be 105, yes, 105 - unbelievable!  It was such a touching ceremony  - Something was done that one doesn't see very often - they had the body of Ms. Divine in the church for a viewing prior to the service. She and her husband were one of the first members of this church - so usually the church will allow a viewing for those who have made significant contributions to the church.  I have seen a few of these viewings across my travels - So after a few of these , I have learned to separate the body from the spirit - telling myself that it is only their body and their soul has moved on. Thinking that way that gets me through. 

So I walk in and glance to the front of the church and there she is, looking so peaceful.  I keep walking to meet up with my organist, Beth and we go over the music for the morning.   I did get to say hello to one of the grandchildren, we had a wonderful conversation, he told me how she was able to live alone until she was 99 and only then did she go into a group home in Seattle - really neat place - home cooked meals - an actual house, not a nursing home.  She did really well - but towards the end, she was ready to go "home" - that is what she kept saying, "I want to go home"

Pretty straight forward service - no surprises.  Great homily - it was such a lovely tribute.

Then her grandson got up after the Communion and said a few words - he stands up  there and said "it looks like a lot of paper, but I printed it in larger print so I can read it!" Everyone laughed. He then proceeded to say that he was not sure how to write about his grandma, so he wrote her a letter.  He actually started :"Dear Grandma"  well that got everyone crying. He talked about how wonderful she was to everyone and her family.  The trips she went on with the family, the dinners they all had, how she would sing all the time - she was very very spunky!  It sounded like she had a full life and now she can be with her husband, parents etc..her grandson actually talked about how she could make coffee for all of her family and they could have coffee together.  And that reminded me about my grandparents - my grandfather would make the coffee and my grandmother and her sisters would have coffee at noon and at 6pm.  The funny part was that my grandfather would go and sit in the kitchen drink his coffee and smoke a cigarette - mostly because he did not want to listen to all the sisters complain! 

After the funeral was over, I said good bye to Beth and went on my way. I go outside and an older gentleman pulls me aside and tells me that he is the son of Ms. Devine - he said that she was such a fighter and she kept bouncing back every time she was ill - that he thought that she would be able to bounce back from this one, but he guessed her body was tired and it was time for her to go home. I told him how lucky he was to have her for so long - and that it seemed that she had a full life - he agreed. His daughter went to get her car -so I then helped him to the car because he just had knee surgery - so he was a little unsure about walking (it was snowing like crazy) - He said to me as he got in the car - "When I go, I want you to sing for my funeral" So I responded - "give me a call" - he said.. "I'll email ya" he winked at me and the door shut -

Now I see where he got his spunkiness from -

Peace out kiddies..

M-

I just don't know where to begin.. Part the third and final.

So after I get a parking spot right in front of the church - I walk in and look around.  It is a lovely old church, filled with arches -even has that old church smell ( you know what I mean) So I am looking for Father Paul -  finally found him in the front of the church in the Sacristy.(the room next to the altar)  As I walk in -  I am handed a program - yes a program. And not just any ordinary program - It was set up like a Broadway playbill.  Quite brilliant actually. In addition to the program, There was a script - it was a read and response type of thing.  I believe that it consisted of lines from some of his plays.  I knew I was in for something really interesting -
I was introduced to some of the other priests and deacons that will be co celebrating the funeral mass. Then I meet the most recent organist/music minister. He has since left this church for another position  -  We exchange pleasantries, he was very nice - then we got down to business.   I asked him who was to sing what - since he was not playing, (remember it was all acappella) he was song leading as well.  I let him take the lead -since the main reason I was there was to sing with Father Paul.

The service was to start at 10:30.  It was clear that it was not going to run on time, so I just sat in the sacristy and observed.  The man from New York that I was to sing with , was in the back hall, drinking his tea and warming up. I was laughing to myself.. I know, I know, I should be more respectful to other singers, but come on. The music that we were doing is not strenuous at all. Of course, Father Paul being the funny man that he is, said to me half laughing. "he has your tea, where is yours? I respond "Oh I knew I forgot something" Actually, I left my coffee in the car.. darn - We smiled and waited... and listened to "him" warm up.  Finally, forty minutes later the tributes were over and it was time for the actual funeral ceremony.

The procession started with yet another woman singing Amazing Grace - it was a glorious voice - the way Amazing Grace should be sung, so soulful.  The mass went on and our boy from NY started to sing - he was a good singer   But so dramatic, oh my.. boy was very dramatic!  Father Paul would look at me every now and again when he was not involved with a certain part of the service and make "the face"   - you know, the face that said...."wow he is dramatic" And when I sang with him (our NY Boy) he pumped up the dramatics. 
Now there is a part in the ceremony where the gifts are brought up to the altar. Usually what is brought up is bread and wine.  Now this offertory was really different- Our deceased had specific loves in his life,  Roller Coasters, Diet Soda, the theater and music. So his friends brought up the following in addition to bread and wine.

Acase of Diet Coke,
A statue of a roller coaster
A tuba
Theater tickets
Theater programs -  (how very Egyptian huh?)

Now Father Paul had to accept all of these at the altar - and he was so gracious and caring. That is why he is so good at what he does.  I could not have done that with a straight face - The service continued and  we get to the point where the mass parts which consist of the Sanctus (Holy Holy), Memorial acclamation and the doxology or the great Amen are sung.  Now when you sing for different churches, you get used to the different mass settings - well this one I have NEVER heard of before, so therefore I was not going to sing it.  But my singing partner did.. and boy was he into it.. arms flailing, singing his brains out.. which is fine, really - I just hope he was connected to the text as he was physically showing the congregation.  Father Paul looked at me with the face "where did these mass parts come from?"
Ok, so after the communion was ovcr, we are pretty much done - so here comes the part that I actually drove here for.  Father Paul says one of the final prayers and explains that this person is sacred to us and to God... ok, so this is when Father Incenses the body and we start singing Go with God.. and it was very nice - we truly sound great together - no doubt a great ending to a very theatrical funeral - Father was pleased - I hope the deceased was and it was an celebration of life I will NEVER forget.

Have a great day!

M

I just don't know where to begin Part 2

Helloooo!  So the last time we visited I was just called to go and sing a funeral where there was not going to be any organ music, actually no instrumental  music playing of any sort.  Acappella singing.  Only accappella  singing which is fine with me - but if you read part one.. Father Paul needed some back up. So as I said before, Father Paul went to the wake to convince the family that it would be a great tribute to their friend if we sang this song that is done at the end of the funeral.  Well, apparently he is a rock star, because it worked and I was going.

So I was thinking to myself, I should take music with me because I just don't know what they will have there and I don't know exactly what I have to do (Other than Go with God) - so on my way home from my other job (I wear a lot of hats) I stopped at the church to get music - but the church was locked.. so off I go looking for someone to open it. 

I found Father Rafael, sitting at his computer responding to email. He was more than happy to help me out. He is a new priest at the church and is really wonderful.  So we walk over- (so cold out) and I was able to get my music. I thanked  Father "R" and went on my merry way.

So the next morning I check off my list:

1. Coffee - check check (and for those of you who don't know, coffee is one of my four food groups.)
2  Gps , "Hobbs" will show me the way, ok, I switched it to Cartman, who am I kidding- check
3. Extra music if I need it  - check
4. Kiss husband and son goodbye - check

And we are off!  The drive was not so horrible, only about a half hour away, I have the Holiday music blasting, singing along - hoping the traffic was not going to be bad and it wasn't. The actual funeral was in a busy area, so to find parking was going to be a "joy." But I was prepared, I started to sing every song  I found the church, and I circled around, no parking. Awesome!  So, I make another round, nothing.. oh come on, really?  I have to sing for the dead here!!! 

Hey, there is a policeman - I am going to ask him- "oh you are singing for the funeral?  You can park right in front!"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Oh this is getting better and better.. So I park in the row with hearse and all the other limos.  RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CHURCH!  I should have asked the first time around.. geez. 

So after I parked, I went in... oh man....

yes, I am going to do it again.. you have to wait.. Part III  - Don't worry, I won't wait as long!

Peace out kiddies

M