Ed

Born: 1966

Died: September 16, 2009

It was a crazy morning, traffic was a nightmare, Route  17 was backed up, so I had to find my way around it.  Finally get there, with 10 minutes to spare, met with the organist, went over the song list, and then tried to prepare myself for the next part:  

The deceased is 43 years old, my age.  Ok, I am not going to let this bother me.   His wife is my age, and they have two sons, the younger son is the same age as my son. Ok, I am not going to let this bother me. But you know it was bothering me, I am thinking about my husband, my son - how would I live.. seriously, I know, it sounds so dramatic - but sometimes it just gets me.

 I am watching the wife and, who I believe, her mother, and as the priest was talking about husband's personality, they were nodding their heads agreeing.   His wife was so strong, I really was really impressed  - what a wonderful example for her children. I think you go through the motions of what you need to do and then grieve later -  it is very interesting to me how people will grieve - so many different ways and how strong (or weak) people can be. 

But allow me to backtrack a bit... before the service was to begin, I am singing the opening hymn and the family was settling  in to the pews- The priest was about to start the service and then we all hear .. "Oh God".. I look over and the brother of the deceased got very ill, 911 was called and we waited...very awkward - I wanted to run over there and see what I could do, but this was a church where they did not know me well - The emt's came very quickly, he was checked then taken to the hospital – We did find out later that he was going to be ok.. That has never happened in the 15 years of singing funerals.. it was a bit scary.

The funeral went on, we got through it all - but I could not get his brother out of my mind.  It was really nice to see the support that the family received that day - but I think well yes they are here now, but will people be there in a month, or a year from now ?

Everyone grieves differently-

In the beginning....

there was a young woman who was offered a church job!  (Oh, wait that was me.. my bad)  - I thought I would jump back to the beginning of this interesting career I have.

I first started to sing in churches back in the early 90’s, I will never forget, my husband, also a singer, had a church job.  This is normal for opera singers, because frankly, we are not gigging all the time. 

So – the music director, where my husband worked, was looking for a singer to help out in the choir, so I said sure, why not, I mean, it was one step away from ...

My First Funeral

Betty Corradassi:

Born: June 22, 1921

Died: April 2, 1998

Betty,  was my first funeral at a church in New Jersey.   I was so nervous, and sad.  In the beginning, singing funerals, as it did with congregants, family members and the like, always made me so sad.. I mean think about it,this is what is the monologue was like running through my mind, “oh man, this lady is the same age as my Aunt Linda, I love my Aunt Linda, oh now I am going to cry… don't cry, don't cry, be a professional, look at the lights above, think of anything else...la la la..who was on SNL this week, think of how funny Robin Williams is".. ok..this so did not work in the beginning. 

It was a church funeral, so as you probably know, there is a full mass and then usually concludes with the family wanting something special sung after communion, which is usually Ave Maria - now I could get through that - but afterwards, at the very end, this is where it kills me – I have to sing a farewell song which just makes me cry. 

But Betty was full of life, she loved her family and most of all, and she loved her church. How do I know this?  Her grandson, Michael, told the congregation that was gathered in

the church on that cold April morning.    He talked about all the great things she was and things she did... one of the things that struck me funny was that when he spoke about Grandma Betty cupcakes, with the best frosting in Westfield, NJ – Everyone nodded their heads and smiled.

Betty was a librarian, and she volunteered at church functions – basically she was perfect. Aren't all Grandma's.... 

Talk to you all soon....

M~

 

Sisters until the end

Wow - my first real entry - I wrote the introduction for the Blog and what do you know, Bam -  I get the call from an organist I usually work with. But this funeral call was a little different... Two sisters (way into their 90's) had died six months apart and now the family was to have a funeral for the both of them. Okee Dokee-

I think what made this so interesting was that one had been cremated and one was in a casket - I think.. or were they both cremated and in one casket.. I just wasn't sure...There was a table in the front  - I thought that was for an urn.. but no one put anything there - so I just kept staring at the casket  saying to myself... are both of them in there? Are they ok?  (I know, horrible - right?)  And to be honest, I would not be surprised - What I found out was that they did everything together - helped raise their siblings, lived through WWI, the great depression, WWII and so much more.  They were avid knitters, apparently always making baby hats, booties and blankets for every newborn that came along!  They never missed a birthday, anniversary, etc..
In their later years, they went into assisted living (2001) which to me is incredible - these ladies lived well into their 90's and it seemed as though they led a full life of family, faith and travel.  The family had a program to hand out to those who came - and on the cover, there was a picture of the two of them in their Red Hats - It was great.

They definitely were sisters until the end.

A blog about singing for the dead - who knew.

So- Here we are- my first post about my crazy life as a wife, mom, professional singer who is now (I guess there is no other way to say this) a funeral singer. I have to tell you  that I really never thought I would ever be blogging about this!

 A little background on me - I am a classically trained singer - but prefer to sing musical theater - I went to school, got various music degrees and proceeded to have a nice little opera career.  After getting married to this really cool guy, we kept singing (he is a singer too) then after having my son, I did not want to travel as much and decided to concentrate on being a church musician - and I have had great success!  As a singer, all of us, at one time or another have had a church job.. but for some reason, I had always felt that I really touched the lives of those for whom I sang.... Then one day - an organist asked me if I would sing a funeral.. "sure!', I said, not knowing that it would be the most emotional hour of my life.  Every one I that I sang from that moment on, got a little easier.  Singing for the dead is never easy..

I hope this blog can ease the pain that people are feeling...

Stay tuned!

Meliss-