A bright light on a gray day-

So I get a text on Sunday saying.. "hey are you free for a funeral tomorrow at 9:30?"  "Sure", I reply.. "I am in!"  I get a texted smiley face back and ta da... a funeral is booked.  I don't want to make it sound so easy.. and uncaring..but this is behind the scenes.. what we do as musicians to get a service together for a family-

The funeral that was booked was at a different church.. I always find it interesting when I go to another church to sing. - You know, everyone has their own way of doing things  and I (and other singers) have to be flexible in regards to music, how the service is run, what priest likes   and what the minister of music likes- etc.  I have been doing this so long, I think I do a pretty good job of  "getting the feel" for the church, organist and priest -so far! 

The cool thing at this particular church is that the Minister of Music really has it together!  It is great - She has a sheet that lists certain songs that are appropriate for the funeral  - so the family can choose, or if they don't want to they can leave it up to her to choose.  It is a great system and works very well -
So I get there and she tells me that the family wants Ave Maria. but NOT Amazing Grace.  Well that is easy - so she went through and circled the songs that she thought would be nice - and off we went.

The procession had not started yet and I was setting up my music and then I  saw this cute little boy ( He was only 2 or 3 years old) in the congregation - he kept looking at me and waving and I would wave back- so eventually  I went over to talk to him and his mother. He was adorable, So willing to talk and just such a bright light - what a joy he must be.  I know he didn't understand why he was there - all he did during the service was wave at me  - and then he would pick up a hymnal  and pretend to sing.. it was so cute.  I love times like this - it makes light of a dismal situation -

Anywho - I come to find out that the deceased had gone into the hospital for I believe a heart attack, but once he got there, things went down hill -  they realized that he had pancreatic cancer and many other things wrong - so in a way, the heart attack was a blessing - the end of his life could have been much more painful and drawn out.

It was a lovely service, well as lovely as a funeral service can be - and afterwards I said my goodbyes to my organist - and as I was walking out to my car - there was that little boy again - running around. He wanted to play hide and go seek with me - it was precious - and as I was amongst the mourners, every time that gorgeous little boy would say something, their faces would light up - definitely a bright light on a gray day..


Find your bright light-

Peace out kiddies...

M-

Funeral Directors.. the few, the proud.. the hot?

Euglogies... 8 - that's right.. I said it.. 8!

Kim Whether

92 years young

This lovely woman was 92 years old..Has, I believe, eight kids, loved her music, dancing .. and her family - It was so evident in the beautiful tribute that was given- All eight of her children came up to speak - and each had beautiful things to say-  And one of her daughters came to sing, yes to sing.  I give this woman so much credit - she had a lovely voice - and she is a cantor in another church near by. I kept listening to her sing, and could only think to myself, "Could I do this?" .. could I sing at my parents funeral(s)?  I just don't know - it is such a personal thing, could I separate myself enough from the actual service to actually do it?  So many people don't have to think about this type of decision.. but I kinda do - at least I think I do- I mean what a better way to honor your parent(s) when you are a singer  then to sing for their funeral- - (Now,of course, after I post this.. you all know I will be getting a call from my parents!)I mean today, for instance, I sang all the masses at church - and one of the hymns was How Great Thou Art - now I know that is one of my Dad's favorites - and every time, every single time, I think of him, and I try not to get teary - and today I was successful!  But I get to thinking, would he want that at his funeral? I just don't know if I could do it.. and ok, really, for my mom? -  forget it.. who am kidding - So I guess the answer for today is No.. I couldn't do it.  But that is today - It might change down the road...

Ok, enough serious talk.. now on to the fun stuff.. We started with the eulogy (and just so you won't feel left out) - Ted did not stray from the norm - he started bitching already.. when he went to out to look to see who was speaking for the eulogy - he comes back and says.."There are seven out there!  What is this about?" Then I asked.. "Well, are you leaving me today?"   "No  - not today" he replied.. Soooo  there you go.. That question sure quieted him down.. for like a minute.

 We then changed the subject and started talking about other cantors that we know.. well he did..hysterical - and  oh yeah, that was fun because of course the conversation continued and we ended up talking about him...his compassion and how he has none - (now we are up to number 6 in the eulogy parade) I then told him that he has no idea how much material he gives me for my blog!  He laughed.. and started  walking out to see what number they were up too - (serving number 7, number 7?) He walks back and says to me " I am sorry, did I say seven?  I meant eight!"  Usually at this point, he whips out his cell phone to call his voicemail - but he left his phone in his car!  So he started to pace, used the phone in the sacristy to check his voicemail - Just watching him is great! He finally calmed down a bit after the eulogies were over - whew.  He is so much fun to work with, I really never know what to expect! 

The service continued  - it was a lovely mass. Her daughter sang so beautifully, did such a lovely job - I was so impressed with her demeanor, and how well she handled herself - She was a bit of an inspiration!

And don't we all need a bit of inspiration sometimes?

Peace Out kiddies....

M-

I'm late, I'm late for a very important.. other funeral at another church!

Dr. Larry Oleary

Died: October 30, 2010
Funeral; November 5th..2010

This funeral started with a call from the organist two days before telling me that he might be there close to 10am..just in time for the funeral. Okee dokee, No problem, we have done that before. 

So I  arrive at church - and Ted (my organist) says to me - "Good morning - Did you know that there are six grandchildren speaking.. 6?  Well, in the end, it ended up being five.. This still did not bode well with Ted, for he had another funeral at another church at eleven.  Now this is normally feasible.  But with the grandchildren and other relatives speaking, I was just not sure if he was going to make it -

The deceased was a local doctor - very popular, funny, seemed like a wonderful man..started a soccer league from his back yard 40 years ago and since then, it has turned into a pretty large league!
There was no coffin at this one - it was a cremation. I always find cremation sort of surreal.  This once walking living breathing person, is now in a small box.  A nice box, green marble, but none the less, a box. It just proves to me how precious our lives are and how important our family and friends are.. and also how important it is to tell the people you love "I love you" today, not tomorrow.. but today - now.. (ok, go call your family, I will wait)

 Ok back to Ted... as I said before, he had to leave early for another funeral at 11 - So he had informed the church when this funeral came up that he had another funeral at 11 at a church close by and he has to leave no later than 10:50.. no later (his words exactly). I have to  give you a play by play.. so this is how it went down...

 After his drama scene in regards to the speakers.. he started listening to the eulogists.  One of the  people that got up to talk about the deceased said that the doctor was a funny man - that he was a fan of the three stooges and did not like Lucille Ball!  Of course my response was, "What? How can you not like her.. she was amazing!" and Ted said.."they better move this along!"  - Oy!  Some spoke for quite sometime, Finally, finally they were done - and the service truly began.  After the first reading, the old testament, I walk up and sing the responsorial psalm.  So I go..  sing the psalm (2 verses, Ted is going to be late remember)  and go sit down.  Sing the Alleluia, and sit down.. Then the presider gets up to read and give the sermon.  As he gives his sermon, Ted and I go in the back room of the church to chill out for a bit - And there as Ted, texting, looking at the clock, tapping his foot... you get the picture.. Now don't get me wrong, Ted is an amazing pianist , great musician and a very very funny man - I love working with him .. but today he was not the best planner...

So the sermon is finally over - and Ted is getting all worked up now, he knows that he is going to be late for the next funeral - Now I am not sure what he did in the back room while the Priest was preparing for communion - but I saw him flicking his phone, making phone calls... you get the picture...
So we are up to the communion hymn and he turns to me and says... I am playing this hymn and I am leaving.. Ok.. so he is leaving me to cover the incensing the cremains and closing hymn?  What .. is he new?  Does he know what he is doing?   Really?  Does he know my piano skills?  I mean, I can fake it..but come on.. Oh.. but it gets better...

So.... now picture this... me sitting at the piano, with the microphone pulled in front of me.. ala Lady GaGa.. (ok,that made me laugh out loud).. So I have decided not to look back at the priest, because I can take my cues off of what he is going to say.. So he says the closing statement before he incenses the cremains, and I start singing what I normally do (even if I am not playing) then.. I hear.. "and I will incense the cremains...." Ok, so apparently he was not done speaking.. great.. awesome.. Oh man.. so I wait.. and finally I finish what I am singing.. and I am thinking to myself, "one down, one to go - I really hope no one will notice how I suck at the piano"  Then the service was over and I was left singing and playing How Great thou Art (Thank goodness people were leaving - it was not GREAT.. ).. I should have just sung it accapella (without accompaniment) - but no, I thought it would be a good idea to try to play it.. so in conclusion.. I have decided that it was not the best thing to leave me singing and playing at the same time in a church, in front of people.

Needless to say - No one should ever let me to do that again..

Ok kiddies..

Have a great day.. and remember to tell the people in your life that you love them...

Laughter can be the best medicine!

On such a sad day for some, it is uplifting to hear a little laughter - whether it is nervous laughter or full on belly laughing - it is so good for us.  Here is a story about Teresa - 74 years old

 Teresa

Died: October 25, 2009

The funeral starts the way it normally does, I announce the opening hymn to sing and noone picks up the hymnals to sing (I truly am surprised when people sing with me)  - so I start singing, the casket, priest and the family process down the aisle.  The family is seated and the service continues...

We have the first reading - which went smoothly... then.... One of the cousins started to go up to the pulpit, she thought she was going to read the second reading and the priest walks up to her and says...

“hi dear, won’t you sit down because we have the psalm first.."  Well, the family started to laugh.. so she sheepishly went to sit down, the family was still cracking up..I actually had to wait for them to stop laughing! So, finally,  I go and sing the psalm and they are all still snickering and I am trying to be all serious, but I could not help but smile.  So after I am done singing, I go and sit down.  Now it was time for her to go up to read the second reading..she gets up, we hear snickering, she walks  up and the family started laughing again- it was hysterical.  As she started reading, she was giggling.. She did get through the second reading – this whole thing brought some levity to the situation. And even the priest mentioned in his sermon that the laughter that he heard from the family is a great tribute to the love of Teresa and the love of family- that they were not afraid to laugh  - and we found out that Teresa loved life, her family and she loved to laugh at a great joke.

It was great....So laugh a little today -

Peace out kiddies...

M-