45 minutes.. really?

Ok, so it is Martin Luther King day, I did not have to teach that day, but there was a funeral in the morning which is fine.  So I get ready, drink my coffee, say goodbye to the family and say - "I should be back in a couple of hours - at the most."  HA!  Boy was I wrong -

I get to church and our regular church organist was playing the funeral today  - groovy.  The funeral was to start at 10:30 - but they were late - not that big of a surprise, the weather has been kind of crappy, so things were taking a bit longer -  it happens.

 The family and funeral home finally arrived.  I went to the back of the church to check on something - I can't recall what it was now - but I was approached by the funeral home director and was told that everyone was to receive a flower - because one of the children of the deceased, the one that was going to give a eulogy, asked if the grandchildren would pass out a flower to each person because there was going to be relevance to the flowers in the eulogy. Ok, fine - nice touch.   You are probably wondering "how does that affect you if you are there to sing?"  Well that is a valid question.   All it meant was that we had to keep singing the opening hymn until everyone had flowers and was seated - it did not take as long as I thought it might. 

So then our new priest, Father Rafael, says " I would like to invite Richard to come up an say a few words"  Notice how he said .. "a few" So I go back in the sacristy, thinking, "This won't take long"  The eulogy begins - and Richard was a low talker  - so I could not get everything he was saying.  After about ten minutes I was thinking to myself, "well he should be done soon" - and my organist agreed. Then another ten minutes went by.. ok, now it is getting to be a bit long.  At this point, my organist actually fell asleep in his chair in the sacristy. Now Richard was recalling his mother's life - but I think he was going year by year, at one point I heard.. "In 1938... and then later on I heard .. then in 1985" Really?
Finally another 15 minutes later, my organist woke up and said. "Oh man, where are we - "  I respond, "he is still talking"  He rolls his eyes and closes them again. 

All the time this was going on, I was texting Father Paul telling him what was happening.  I was not getting a response - although I was hoping too.  I also was texting my friend Justin - now Justin is a first year seminary student and is a riot to be around.  A very sweet guy, but very cynical. So, I was telling him how long this funeral was going on and he responded, "oh too bad, I am in my bed at school"  I respond "Nice"   He said "poor Rafael"  No kidding.  At one point, I ended up looking out there to make sure that Father did not fall asleep - he didn't.   Such a patient man.

Well after 45 minutes, Richard finally stopped eulogizing.  The altar servers, who are older men of the parish, came back and one of them said.. "45 minutes, I can't believe it, 45 minutes"  He was right - I checked the clock and just shook my head.

As the mass continued and the organist suggested that I just sing one verse of the psalm. I said "no, that is not fair", although I totally agreed with him..   He finally agreed that I was right - but let me tell you, the rest of the service went along pretty quickly -

We then came to the end of the service - a great - grandchild of the deceased was to sing the closing hymn, "Amazing Grace." She was like 11 years old - she had a pretty decent voice!  The only problem was that there are five verses of the song - and we are not sure where it came from, but she sang three extra verses!  And when she was done, the congregation applauded - not really appropriate in church, but it was important to the family - I thought it was sweet.  After she was done and the family went on their way, our organist said to me, "I have been in this business for 35 years, and I have NEVER heard of those three extra verses!" 

I just started to laugh -

Normally when I do a funeral it takes about 50 minutes or so.. but this funeral was almost 2 hours..It was the long funereal I have done this year.  The next day, we had a terrible snow storm, and alot of the schools were cancelled.  My organist is also a school teacher - so I asked him if he had school, he said "no but it is good because I am still recovering from yesterday's funeral."  Nice.

Being "On Call"

I was talking to a friend the other day and she said that I should write a post and talk about being "on call."  I thought about it and said "huh, I never really thought of it that way."  It's very interesting thing if you think about it - no I don't have a beeper - but I do have my cell phone and, as you know, I get text messages.  and they can come in anytime.

I started to think more about it and it kind of made me laugh - Really think about it - I am "on call" to sing at someones funeral.  I know, I know,  not as important as a doctor - with them saving lives and all - but get this.. I guess I help send them off to the next part of their journey. Now that is pretty darn cool.

I did not always sing so many funerals - Like any business, one has to build up their clients, and no I don't mean the families ha ha - the churches and funeral homes.   Alot of my work comes from referrals - that is how I built this part of my business to where it is today.  Not to say that I am singing funerals five days a week - but it is growing - hey, it is a kind of thing where there will always be a need.  And I am truly glad that I am able to help families make their loved ones 'send off' hopefully a special and touching celebration of life.

If you were to ask me 10 years ago that I would be singing for funerals and blogging about it - I would have laughed at that idea.  But now, I am glad that I was lead on this journey and I truly am glad that I am
"on call"

Peace, love and coffee

M

Miss Devine

I think there is a reason this lovely woman's last name was Devine! I had to talk about this most recent funeral - she lived to be 105, yes, 105 - unbelievable!  It was such a touching ceremony  - Something was done that one doesn't see very often - they had the body of Ms. Divine in the church for a viewing prior to the service. She and her husband were one of the first members of this church - so usually the church will allow a viewing for those who have made significant contributions to the church.  I have seen a few of these viewings across my travels - So after a few of these , I have learned to separate the body from the spirit - telling myself that it is only their body and their soul has moved on. Thinking that way that gets me through. 

So I walk in and glance to the front of the church and there she is, looking so peaceful.  I keep walking to meet up with my organist, Beth and we go over the music for the morning.   I did get to say hello to one of the grandchildren, we had a wonderful conversation, he told me how she was able to live alone until she was 99 and only then did she go into a group home in Seattle - really neat place - home cooked meals - an actual house, not a nursing home.  She did really well - but towards the end, she was ready to go "home" - that is what she kept saying, "I want to go home"

Pretty straight forward service - no surprises.  Great homily - it was such a lovely tribute.

Then her grandson got up after the Communion and said a few words - he stands up  there and said "it looks like a lot of paper, but I printed it in larger print so I can read it!" Everyone laughed. He then proceeded to say that he was not sure how to write about his grandma, so he wrote her a letter.  He actually started :"Dear Grandma"  well that got everyone crying. He talked about how wonderful she was to everyone and her family.  The trips she went on with the family, the dinners they all had, how she would sing all the time - she was very very spunky!  It sounded like she had a full life and now she can be with her husband, parents etc..her grandson actually talked about how she could make coffee for all of her family and they could have coffee together.  And that reminded me about my grandparents - my grandfather would make the coffee and my grandmother and her sisters would have coffee at noon and at 6pm.  The funny part was that my grandfather would go and sit in the kitchen drink his coffee and smoke a cigarette - mostly because he did not want to listen to all the sisters complain! 

After the funeral was over, I said good bye to Beth and went on my way. I go outside and an older gentleman pulls me aside and tells me that he is the son of Ms. Devine - he said that she was such a fighter and she kept bouncing back every time she was ill - that he thought that she would be able to bounce back from this one, but he guessed her body was tired and it was time for her to go home. I told him how lucky he was to have her for so long - and that it seemed that she had a full life - he agreed. His daughter went to get her car -so I then helped him to the car because he just had knee surgery - so he was a little unsure about walking (it was snowing like crazy) - He said to me as he got in the car - "When I go, I want you to sing for my funeral" So I responded - "give me a call" - he said.. "I'll email ya" he winked at me and the door shut -

Now I see where he got his spunkiness from -

Peace out kiddies..

M-

I just don't know where to begin.. Part the third and final.

So after I get a parking spot right in front of the church - I walk in and look around.  It is a lovely old church, filled with arches -even has that old church smell ( you know what I mean) So I am looking for Father Paul -  finally found him in the front of the church in the Sacristy.(the room next to the altar)  As I walk in -  I am handed a program - yes a program. And not just any ordinary program - It was set up like a Broadway playbill.  Quite brilliant actually. In addition to the program, There was a script - it was a read and response type of thing.  I believe that it consisted of lines from some of his plays.  I knew I was in for something really interesting -
I was introduced to some of the other priests and deacons that will be co celebrating the funeral mass. Then I meet the most recent organist/music minister. He has since left this church for another position  -  We exchange pleasantries, he was very nice - then we got down to business.   I asked him who was to sing what - since he was not playing, (remember it was all acappella) he was song leading as well.  I let him take the lead -since the main reason I was there was to sing with Father Paul.

The service was to start at 10:30.  It was clear that it was not going to run on time, so I just sat in the sacristy and observed.  The man from New York that I was to sing with , was in the back hall, drinking his tea and warming up. I was laughing to myself.. I know, I know, I should be more respectful to other singers, but come on. The music that we were doing is not strenuous at all. Of course, Father Paul being the funny man that he is, said to me half laughing. "he has your tea, where is yours? I respond "Oh I knew I forgot something" Actually, I left my coffee in the car.. darn - We smiled and waited... and listened to "him" warm up.  Finally, forty minutes later the tributes were over and it was time for the actual funeral ceremony.

The procession started with yet another woman singing Amazing Grace - it was a glorious voice - the way Amazing Grace should be sung, so soulful.  The mass went on and our boy from NY started to sing - he was a good singer   But so dramatic, oh my.. boy was very dramatic!  Father Paul would look at me every now and again when he was not involved with a certain part of the service and make "the face"   - you know, the face that said...."wow he is dramatic" And when I sang with him (our NY Boy) he pumped up the dramatics. 
Now there is a part in the ceremony where the gifts are brought up to the altar. Usually what is brought up is bread and wine.  Now this offertory was really different- Our deceased had specific loves in his life,  Roller Coasters, Diet Soda, the theater and music. So his friends brought up the following in addition to bread and wine.

Acase of Diet Coke,
A statue of a roller coaster
A tuba
Theater tickets
Theater programs -  (how very Egyptian huh?)

Now Father Paul had to accept all of these at the altar - and he was so gracious and caring. That is why he is so good at what he does.  I could not have done that with a straight face - The service continued and  we get to the point where the mass parts which consist of the Sanctus (Holy Holy), Memorial acclamation and the doxology or the great Amen are sung.  Now when you sing for different churches, you get used to the different mass settings - well this one I have NEVER heard of before, so therefore I was not going to sing it.  But my singing partner did.. and boy was he into it.. arms flailing, singing his brains out.. which is fine, really - I just hope he was connected to the text as he was physically showing the congregation.  Father Paul looked at me with the face "where did these mass parts come from?"
Ok, so after the communion was ovcr, we are pretty much done - so here comes the part that I actually drove here for.  Father Paul says one of the final prayers and explains that this person is sacred to us and to God... ok, so this is when Father Incenses the body and we start singing Go with God.. and it was very nice - we truly sound great together - no doubt a great ending to a very theatrical funeral - Father was pleased - I hope the deceased was and it was an celebration of life I will NEVER forget.

Have a great day!

M

I just don't know where to begin Part 2

Helloooo!  So the last time we visited I was just called to go and sing a funeral where there was not going to be any organ music, actually no instrumental  music playing of any sort.  Acappella singing.  Only accappella  singing which is fine with me - but if you read part one.. Father Paul needed some back up. So as I said before, Father Paul went to the wake to convince the family that it would be a great tribute to their friend if we sang this song that is done at the end of the funeral.  Well, apparently he is a rock star, because it worked and I was going.

So I was thinking to myself, I should take music with me because I just don't know what they will have there and I don't know exactly what I have to do (Other than Go with God) - so on my way home from my other job (I wear a lot of hats) I stopped at the church to get music - but the church was locked.. so off I go looking for someone to open it. 

I found Father Rafael, sitting at his computer responding to email. He was more than happy to help me out. He is a new priest at the church and is really wonderful.  So we walk over- (so cold out) and I was able to get my music. I thanked  Father "R" and went on my merry way.

So the next morning I check off my list:

1. Coffee - check check (and for those of you who don't know, coffee is one of my four food groups.)
2  Gps , "Hobbs" will show me the way, ok, I switched it to Cartman, who am I kidding- check
3. Extra music if I need it  - check
4. Kiss husband and son goodbye - check

And we are off!  The drive was not so horrible, only about a half hour away, I have the Holiday music blasting, singing along - hoping the traffic was not going to be bad and it wasn't. The actual funeral was in a busy area, so to find parking was going to be a "joy." But I was prepared, I started to sing every song  I found the church, and I circled around, no parking. Awesome!  So, I make another round, nothing.. oh come on, really?  I have to sing for the dead here!!! 

Hey, there is a policeman - I am going to ask him- "oh you are singing for the funeral?  You can park right in front!"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Oh this is getting better and better.. So I park in the row with hearse and all the other limos.  RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CHURCH!  I should have asked the first time around.. geez. 

So after I parked, I went in... oh man....

yes, I am going to do it again.. you have to wait.. Part III  - Don't worry, I won't wait as long!

Peace out kiddies

M