Born: 1966
Died: September 16, 2009
It was a crazy morning, traffic was a nightmare, Route 17 was backed up, so I had to find my way around it. Finally get there, with 10 minutes to spare, met with the organist, went over the song list, and then tried to prepare myself for the next part:
The deceased is 43 years old, my age. Ok, I am not going to let this bother me. His wife is my age, and they have two sons, the younger son is the same age as my son. Ok, I am not going to let this bother me. But you know it was bothering me, I am thinking about my husband, my son - how would I live.. seriously, I know, it sounds so dramatic - but sometimes it just gets me.
I am watching the wife and, who I believe, her mother, and as the priest was talking about husband's personality, they were nodding their heads agreeing. His wife was so strong, I really was really impressed - what a wonderful example for her children. I think you go through the motions of what you need to do and then grieve later - it is very interesting to me how people will grieve - so many different ways and how strong (or weak) people can be.
But allow me to backtrack a bit... before the service was to begin, I am singing the opening hymn and the family was settling in to the pews- The priest was about to start the service and then we all hear .. "Oh God".. I look over and the brother of the deceased got very ill, 911 was called and we waited...very awkward - I wanted to run over there and see what I could do, but this was a church where they did not know me well - The emt's came very quickly, he was checked then taken to the hospital – We did find out later that he was going to be ok.. That has never happened in the 15 years of singing funerals.. it was a bit scary.
The funeral went on, we got through it all - but I could not get his brother out of my mind. It was really nice to see the support that the family received that day - but I think well yes they are here now, but will people be there in a month, or a year from now ?
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