Behind the scenes

I was going to wait - but I just can't.. today we are talking about 'behind the scenes' -As everyone knows, there is a lot of preparation when it comes to a funeral - Of course there is the coordination of the funeral home and the church or other house of worship and music and flowers, etc...

So I walk in to the church this morning to sing this funeral of a very affluent real estate realtor and developer - walked through the back door into the sacristy and there before my eyes are two people... Ted, my organist - and Father Roger, a priest that used to be in Bergen County but now lives "down Shore", yes, I mean the Jersey Shore and I don't think he knows "the situation".  The thing about Father Roger is that  he is a very nice man,  but as a retired priest, he does not celebrate masses very often. He is a bit quirky (aren't we all)  but here is the clincher  -  he is so lively when you talk to him.. but the minute he gets into mass, he talks in slow motion - seriously.. oh man... I knew this was going to be a long one..

As I said..  I walk in .. and look at Ted - and he looks at me.. and we roll our eyes.. because we know, this is going tobe a long one.. really long.. sometimes, when Father gives his homily, he starts to name all the family members..and that takes at least five minutes.. at this point of the service, my organist, Ted, is bitchin and moaning that we are never going to get out of there!  I really need to do a whole entry just on Ted.. it is so worth it.. But in regards to day to day funerals - I have to say it is very interesting to be on the other side of the equation.. what a business it is.. we really do feel bad for the families, but as church musicians - our job is to play/sing well and leave. 

But I am sidetracking..  the service continues, and we find that the deceased was a very cool guy..His sons each gave words of remembrance  - In 1990, he gained worldwide notoriety when he offered a $25,000 reward to charity if anyone saw him eating in a restaurant during the course of a year - or if he reduced his weight during that year.. They talked of his goodness, how funny he was.. how he liked to go to the local coffee shop..we heard the congregation laughing which is a great way to remember those who have left us here on earth.

The back drop of a funeral and some of the things people say crack me up.. Ted says to me - under his breath,  "look at that funeral director.. she looks as though she is going shopping at  Macy's".. She came back to the sacristy, I really thought she was a family member - but then she started talking saying that the family had seated themselves and we are ready to go.  Once again, Ted rolls his eyes -

 Ted has something to say about everything.. and he should .. he has been in the church business for at least 30 years...he is one of the funniest, sarcastic, brilliant players I know.  Boy can play anything, can change keys in a heartbeat.. nothing really phases him. This is why I love him so.. he hustles, he taught me to hustle (not the dance, thank God).. makes sure we get paid, on time - etc... Ted really has taught me alot of about the church business - and I thank him for that..

But as they left the church after the final hymn.. Ted turns to me and says.."Thank God that one is over "-

OY-

M