Welcome Fall

Happy October everyone -

 That is nuts to me.. I remember when I was little the "old" people would think, we have tons of time!! " Well now I guess the shoe is on the other foot. I feel that the summer goes too fast.  But as much as we did this Summer, Fall was a welcomed guest.

My family did some major traveling this summer.  We went out west to many National Parks - it was amazing.  communing with nature.. how cliche, right?   But it is true.  We had the opportunity to see the Grand Canyon  - both the North and South rim.  Now I have to say that when I walked up to see the Grand Canyon for the first time, I was struck with awe.  I really never thought I would ever write that.. I always thought people were over dramatic when they would say that phrase.  So,  I take back the judging (for now ;)) and tell you that the view was breathtaking.  It was almost surreal to me. So peaceful yet so alive. 

We saw the most wildlife in Yellow Stone.  The Bison own that "town" as the humans would frequently be stuck in "traffic" because there were these two bison  - let's call them Mo and Jo, who liked to lay down on the road.  It was like a daily thing.  I swear, they probably clocked in at noon and were done around 8.
I always wondered when their shift was over. I think I said that too much on the trip. After the second time, I did not get one single reaction from my family. Clearly, I need new material.  

We went to other awesome sights such as the Arches, Mount Rushmore, Grand Tetons, Crazy Horse and so much more. It was a big beautiful fulfilling trip.  Now I bet you are thinking, what does this have to do with anything on this blog.  Well, I had the chance to observe so many things on this trip.  One major thing is family.  The lives of so many families, at all stages.  They were so full of life. Most were so happy even if their lives were in turmoil.

But there was one woman who really touched me.  I met her on the south rim of the Grand Canyon. She was there with her daughter and granddaughter.  And as the kids climbed out to this  "mountain' if you will, she and I chatted about everything, it was like we had been friends for a long time.  She told me that she had a brain tumor, and did not tell her granddaughter yet - she did not want to ruin the trip, but there was hope that she would be able to have surgery to get rid of the tumor.  You could feel the gratitude she had for her life, for her family and for the future, whatever it would hold.

That has stuck with me ever since.  I have prayed for her well being. I hope she gets the help that she needs. I hope her granddaughter spends time with her.  Because it is all about family. 

To be in the present with family, in the now, not on a phone, not a text, not snap chatting (but really, I love to snap chat) but to be IN nature, in the now.  It is a very special thing.  The trip helped clear my head, and my body. 

And for this, I am grateful.  

What are you grateful for?

Talk about luck of the Irish...

Hey everyone -

I hope you all have been doing well - the last year has been quite busy but I have still been singing for the dead.  I want to tell you a story about the gentleman that passed recently.

As some of you might know, the history of the Irish wake is a bit  different than what we do here in the states.  The wake would take place at the deceased's home, instead of a funeral home.  Those who wished to pay their respects would come to the home - They then have what is called the removal. The  body of the deceased would be removed at night and brought to the church - a procession primarily on foot, would follow the hearse to the church.  Now the funeral - very similar to what we have here in the states.  But I think here, there is a bit more fanfare.. so here we go...

You always know it's an irish funeral when there are bagpipes..and if you know me, if you are playing the pipes.. especially after my last post,  you better be good.  I know that is a given but for some reason I needed to say that.. lol -  There is nothing like a bad bagpiper -In this case.. he was pretty darn good. whew.

The gentleman who passed was quited elderly when he left this earth - his beautiful family was there to celebrate his life - he had everything planned out - but I think there are a few things that stand out to me as being .. well just awesome.

Oh the stories the family told - there was so much laughter in the church.  They were celebrating his life - yes they were sad he was not physically there with them, but they all knew he was in a better place now and was free from pain.

Now if you remember, I pretty much sing a lot of the same songs so when I was told I was not singing the recessional hymn and they were playing a cd - well we have been down this road before... I could only imagine what it could be.  And this my friends was the best send off EVER. And what could top it off.. a friend of mine trying to dance a jig.. I will not show the video.

But please enjoy this - this was the recessional song! It was fantastic!

Thank God he was pretty.

Wow.. it has been over a year - so much has happened.  But I am not going to bore you with those details.. But what I will tell you that when one has a funeral, and one wants a bagpiper, one should get a good one. Oh was that my outside voice?  Oh yes, yes it was.

Picture it. Your loved ones gathered at this solemn occasion and the organist (who was a sub.. but was terrific) playing softly as people file into the church to pay their final respects to the deceased.  And then you hear Going Home, from the New World Symphony.  Well, he should have just gone home. Seriously. Thank God he was pretty.

The service went on, with a very touching words of remembrance by the grandchildren. I sang some Ave - there was a closing prayer, sending hymn... and then..

BAGPIPES.. oh good Lord.. it was painful. so painful.

Well, at least God is forgiving.

Paparazzi at a funeral? WTH?

So recently I sang a funeral that was well - different.  The deceased was the wife of a very kind man who is a main stay at the church where I work.


Well the service began as usual, but then there was this woman who started TAKING PICTURES!  WHAT THE HELL!!!  I would assume if one was to take pictures, proper etiquette would state that you take pictures outside of the place of worship - before and/or after.  But even that, to me, seems inappropriate.  But if we look at the history of the photography of funerals - In the Victorian age, once photography entered the main stream, it was a thing of honor to have a formal picture taken of the deceased - which was known as momento mori. They would even go as far as to put them into a formal pose with the existing family. Today, post-mortem photography is still practiced in some parts of Eastern Europe especially for those considered to be very holy.  But here in America, not so much.
Ok, now back to the story.


So as they proceed down the aisle, there she was, clicking away- at the family walking down the aisle with the coffin, at the people in the pews,  And what further put a bee in my bonnet was that she was a fellow congregant! So there I was - singing, watching, completely appalled. You could feel the tension in the church.   And of course the presiding priest isn't going to stop the funeral to tell her to stop.  What I found interesting was that this woman  had no tears, until later.. where she was "crying" but  there no tears.  Unless she has keratoconjunctivitis sicca, you know that disease where you can't cry - I still can't figure out why she was there.  I can't just get that image out of my mind,  her taking pictures of them walking down the aisle.. It was so strange.  The priest doing the funeral couldn't really ask her to stop in the middle only because it would just ruin the funeral even more.

So finally the service was over and the priest, deacon and music staff were all in the back room saying how disturbing and morbid that was and completely inappropriate.  The priest did take action after all was said and done.   He had a discussion with her and I really don't think it will happen again.

The new guy

Hey Kiddos..  

Well things have changed a bit at the ranch.  We have had a changing of the guards if you will, a clean slate.  To be honest, I was a bit nervous about the new Pastor coming in, I was so used to and still love Father Paul - we have worked together for so long.  But you go with the flow, hoping that your job is secure, that you get along with the new guy (s) - and hope for the best.  


Day one: 

• His name - Father Nick - yes, he is of  Greek decent - which is similar to mine.  Check!  
• Apparently, when he was first a priest, I sang for his first mass, I guess I sang for it.  I don't remember - but he does and he liked me.. whew. 
• When he did his first mass where I am now, he told the entire congregation that I sang his first mass as a priest. 

That was day one, I think we will be ok.... get ready.. because this guy might be as funny as me.. might be. 

Life after Death - why are we so impatient?

So awhile back I posted an entry about reading people's minds and funerals - what I find interesting is that that particular entry has received over 2,000 hits. So I thought to myself..

Why?

Is it that we are so interested in the unknown?  What could possibly on the other side?  What is the curiosity about the next phase in our existence? All of these questions are valid and I am sure are asked by many on a daily basis. 

Take the first  - Why are we SO interested in the unknown? - Today our society is one of instant gratification, Finding out an answer in a matter of seconds - you all know what I am talking about - when you are out to dinner with friends or family and you are talking about that certain movie or actor and you want to know how old they are.. we have all done it - so you get out your smart phone (well except my mom, she has a flip phone and is very proud of it.) and you look up the information. Why? Because you couldn't wait. The idea of not knowing and finding out immediately is now a part of daily life. But when we talk about death and what happens after it - well that is a different story.. or is it?  ( Just think about that for a few minutes) 

Now let's take the second - What could possibly be on the "other side?"  Ah .. the afterlife, the next stage - for those who believe that there is a next phase in our existence are "dying" to know what it is.(I can't believe I made that joke.. OK, yeah I can.).   It is our fixation on 'what it will be like'  - There are those who have 'died' and have come back from death  - and many have had after death experiences.  I was curious as to what types of after death experiences people have  - so what did I do?  A search on "after death experiences." My search came up with over eight million hits. EIGHT MILLION!  I have read a number of stories of what has happened when they have encountered a death experience - both good and bad - 

It is the curiosity of that unknown.... which leads to our third - 

What is the curiosity about the next phase in our existence?

I think that many of us are hoping it is easier "there" than here.  The struggle, pain, sadness will all be gone. But is that a true reality? We just don't know. How many of us feel that our lives are being judged on this plain?  That what we do here on this earthly plain will effect the next phase of life?  Maybe for some. For some they believe that the buck stops here - and when we are done living here, that is it. I am not saying that any of these thoughts are wrong or right - I am just putting it out there.  

And who or what exactly chooses it for us?  Is it our soul's path that leads us to the next portion of our existence on another plain? Did we choose our soul's path prior to existing on this earthly plain?  

ah.. so many questions.. so little coffee left in my pot.. OK.. 
off to make another one!

Please chime in and let me know what you are thinking!

Peace, love and coffee..

Me.

ch ch ch ch chaaaanges!

Change.. ah that word.. Change.   Some embrace it with excitement like a kid on their birthday, others look at change as a wall, a horrible thing or something to stop them to do what they really want to do.   Well recently, where I sing, we have had a change. The Pastor with whom I have worked on and off with for a really long time was sent to another church.   Now when he first told me, of course it was right before a funeral (how convenient), but he was in shock, I was in shock - and to be honest, it did not seem real. Oh but it was. When he told the congregation what was happening - the people of his "flock" if you will, were so sad.. there were many tears. But what he told them was so important.  That this church is their church - they are the ones that make up the fabric of the parish.  Also, he said, "if you followed me to my next assignment, then I would not be doing my job" and indeed he was right again. So the month went on and indeed he moved to the other church.. and then, we received our new Pastor.  

None of us were sure what to expect. What I was told was that he was a great guy and the funny thing I found out was he was a parishioner at my first church job. Then, from there,  he went to seminary and tada.. he was ordained.   Funny thing about the ordination, I was told I sang that ordination - yeah I so don't remember that - but apparently there a pictures.. we shall see. 

So the day comes where I get to meet him.  What a lovely man.  Has a real sense of community and humor.. oh man, humor.  This guy is a prankster. He has already "punked" our director of music.. Here is the story, we are sitting in the kitchen of the rectory and the Pastor says to me - "You know for my installation, there is this cantor that is going to come all the way from Portugal."  So I respond  - "Wow, that is awesome - I look forward to working with her"  He then said " I have a video of her if you want to see it."  So you all know I totally want to see this video, thinking she must be pretty good  -   This is what I saw:

 

At first, I was not sure how to respond, but I could not help it, I just start to laugh, knowing he was kidding.  I said to him, have you showed this to Gene (our Director of Music)? He said.."No, not yet I am going to text him right now and tell him to come to the kitchen." So Gene comes over and the Pastor once again says - "You know Gene there is this Cantor, from the Parish I help out with, that is coming all the way from Portugal for my installation. I just wanted to show you this video so you could figure out what music she could sing." So then he begins to play the video.  I was trying so hard not to laugh, to keep a straight face. And Gene, in his best diplomatic voice said, "Sure we can try to work with that." Well at this point everyone in the kitchen was laughing.  Gene was laughing so hard, his face was red.  He originally thought when he received the text because something was wrong, and he felt like he was being called to the principal's office.  But we all had a great laugh over this.

Yes we are going through changes.. but that is life and we should all embrace it.  Especially if it is full of laughter. 

Have a great day everyone.. 

Peace, love and coffee..
M-

I'm sorry, I don't take reservations...

After you have been doing this for a long time, you kind of get a reputation. Mine is singing one heck of a funeral.. especially Ave Maria. So one day at a picnic this sweet older lady said in casual conversation - "You know I  have planned my whole funeral and you better be around to sing!", Alrighty then.. well then what exactly is the right response? 

 - Uhm... thanks?  
 - Thanks for letting me sing for you when you are dead? 
 - Thank you for thinking of me while you plan your funeral?   

As you can imagine, this conversation could go in so many directions because this actually happens quite a bit. Usually I laugh it off and say, "Oh that won't be for a long, long time -" and then I change the subject.  Is there an appropriate thing to say other what I am saying?  I didn't think so until I spoke to a friend of mine  
who happens to be a priest (go figure), and as I was talking to him about it one day..  he said that his reply is "Oh that is very sweet, but I don't take reservations.."  What a great response -  very light hearted and yet he does not get sucked into the "death talk" which I would think would be hard for a Priest to hear over and over. 

So now, when someone is talking to me about their impending funeral  - which is probably years away, I say... we shall see.. because I don't take reservations!  

What would you say?

Anything can happen at a wedding....

I know, I never really post wedding stories, because well, it's obvious. But I just could not help it.

Get ready, this will blow your MIND!!!

So my music director told me we had a wedding that weekend, which is fine, no biggie. This one was going to be a shorty, because there would be no communion. Just a ceremony. Which in musician land is awesome because we get paid the same either way!

So before  the day of the wedding, I show up a little early before I had to sing a regular service to see what I have to sing for the wedding.  Carl, my music director said, "Well all you have to sing is the psalm and the amen" So I am thinking Awesome - nice easy wedding!

Soooo, I arrive on  the day of the wedding and Carl says to me, "Well, there has been a bit of a change."
  I respond, "ok, no biggie"  Carl continues to say, "You don't have to sing Ave Maria - ",
"Ok, " I said.. "Well," Carl said, "there is a reason - the bride's grandmother is singing it and she has passed" (insert pregnant pause) "Alrighty then." I responded - Inside my head I am thinking - :Seriously, dead grandma singing Ave Maria.. ok, now I think I have heard it all- so the service goes on, and its all about love and is going lovely,  then they finally start playing the Ave Maria. I pause, and listen, and tried not to be a bitchy soprano - and it never happened because she was  pretty darn  good... Crazy... I am sitting there saying to myself. way to go Grandma! Everyone in the congregation was tearing up.. I even was.. which just goes to show ya' .... ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN AT A WEDDING.


True story.

And... we're back...

I know, I know.. where the hell have I been - I have been very busy as a singer, writer, mom, wife and all around Goddess..and to be honest, the funeral life has been very sporadic. But yesterday, we had the old crew together - and man, did we put on a good show -uh - I mean funeral.

I get a call from the Pastor and he said.. "The family has requested some Italian hymns, you know like the ones Ted used to do"  (What he meant by used to do is that we have a new director of music. So since he has been there, Ted has not been around for funerals because the new guy (who is amazing!) has been playing them.) Soooo I say " ok, that is fine, my Italian is good" but then Father decides to call Ted anyway to see if he is free to do the funeral.. and he was (of course). I have not seen Ted in forever.. I think I needed time to prepare. ;)

Imagine if you will, I walk into the back of the church and there are the altar servers, now you are thinking, oh how sweet, high school kids - uh NO. The average age of the altar servers for a funeral is about 80. oh yeah.. these guys are the A team. They have been serving since Moses was alive!

So I walk in and there he is in all his splendor, talking a mile a minute about ... HIM... good to know that some things never change.  We exchange pleasantries with the air kiss and hug - then he went off to get a coffee.  (essential thing to have)  Then Father comes in and is getting ready for mass- asking the altar servers if they have everything ready while he is holding something for the mass. (I totally started to laugh out loud) Father rolled his eyes and laughed - and said.. "yep, my A team."

Anywho, I think the highlight of my morning was listening to Ted - and as we know, he loves to talk about himself, sooo he was talking to Father about a mile a minute (they have been friends for years) both catching up on who was where, how different friends were doing and how Ted's mother was -(ok boys let's move this along.)   Let's get  back to the fact that Ted knew the Italian hymns (ok, he had the Italian Hymn book, I really need to get one of those!) - he was thrilled because, say it with me, it was all about HIM. So he got to sing them - so that meant I just got to sit there.. (this does not suck) But I love to watch him sing at the piano - I feel that there should be a big brandy snifter so we can put tips in.. seriously. 

So, we are up to the homily - and so Ted goes into the back room and finds someone else to talk too - I think it was our Deacon.  He just does not stop!  At one point I had to tell him to quiet down, he was getting too loud, you know like really old people who don't have their hearing aides in!   He said.. "ooh I didn't realize, and I don't want to hear it from Father! " I quietly laughed to myself.

The rest of the funeral went on as usual - we sang.. the three of us.. with our harmonies.. we really do rock. I mean .. sing a good funeral.

 

(no this is not Ted, I just love this pic!)

 

Until I see you again Ted, until I see you again...

 

My agent is a funeral director..

I think I have an agent. But my agent is a Funeral Home Director.  Now that is a sentence that you don't hear, oh I don't know.. EVER.  Never thought I would say this, but I am grateful for funeral home directors. Yeah that is just a weird sentence. But you know in this wacky business that I am in, I have found a particular Funeral Director to be especially helpful in recommending me to other churches other than my current one. From him alone I now sing funerals at three churches. I think about this and then I wonder.. do I have to give him a cut, a percentage? And after I stop laughing I remember,  Nah.. they are making enough money off the recently deceased.. they don't need my measly 35 cents.

But I digress.  Robert, the fore mentioned Funeral Home Director knew that I wanted to get in with this one particular church - I had wanted to for a long time.  It just made sense - I sing at another right down the street and frankly, I sing a great funeral.. (yeah, never thought I would hear me saying that either)

So I get the text. "Guess who is singing at St. Margaret's on Friday"..  I was so happy( I know, happy to sing a funeral - face it .. I am just not normal.) .. I just simply replied.. I love you!!!  I got the famous LOL.. and then the organist called me right away.

The organist at St. Margaret's is such a lovely man. A great player and very easy going.  We chatted and we thought that  I should be there a half hour before the funeral just in case I needed to go over any music, ask what their protocols were, etc.  Awesome. This was working out well.  Then I get a call from him later in the day saying that there will be a soloist who is bringing their own music and there will be a choir.  Wow, this was becoming a production!  So I said I would get there earlier so we would have time before the soloist came and the choir warmed up.. I swear all we needed was someone doing a liturgical dance... but that was not in my job description.

I enter the church.. Holy Moly this church is gorgeous, met the organist - and we went over a few things.. then the soloist came in.. with her own music. She was ready to sing and the organist said to her - you might want to use this microphone - and she responded.. "oh I don't need one" He just looked at me and rolled his eyes. (I was falling in love with him.. very funny man) She sang and she was quite good -  And her husband showed up.. with his horn He played a few tunes - very talented. Apparently they were very close friends of the deceased.  And while that is going on, the choir comes in.  (This was going to be a long one!) Then the choir warms up... at this point I said to the organist.. "Could there be anything else that is going on during this mass?" and not two seconds later, enters the bagpiper. yep.. bagpiper - who is going to play when they exit the church. We both started to laugh.

Well the church was packed, the man who passed away, was quite young (54) and he died suddenly. So many friends and family were present.  It was an amazing representation of what an impact this man had on their lives.

When the production .. sorry I mean funeral .. was over,  I thanked the organist for the opportunity to work with him and hope to hear from him soon - so I left and not ten minutes later, I get a phone call from him " Do you miss me yet?" he said.. I started laughing, he then said.. "what are you doing tomorrow at 3:30?"  I responded well I have mass at 5pm at my church, but I think I am working for you at 3:30- he responded "excellent" it was a wedding.  I think we are going to have a lovely working relationship!

It is good to have an Agent that is a funeral home director.. (yeah, that is still weird to say)

Peace, love and coffee

Meliss-

Luck of the Spanish?

Well, it is St. Patty's day and of course I was asked to sing a funeral today.  Father Julio was presiding.. I just love him, so full of life and wonderful. The decease was Raphael - it was a cremation.  So that is a little different - They start the funeral the same way as with a casket, but with the urn.  So the funeral went along as normal - there were two readings, a psalm, the Gospel and then of course the homily.  And as I was sitting there I realized that Father Julio was delivering the homily in Spanish, which is totally cool.  So I leaned over to my organist and said.. "Hey, do you understand what he is saying?" You see our new organist is married to this incredible lady whose family is Colombian - so you would think he would understand some of it - but his response was " they are talking way too fast for me - I do better with people who talk very slowly.. you know, like first year Spanish students" I tried so hard not to laugh..man this guy is funny - so glad we have him!

Anywho, back to our story-  So Father Julio was giving his homily, in Spanish, and after he finished - the service went on.  Sometimes I look ahead at the music to see what is coming up - and there I saw it.. Oh Danny Boy.  Yes, I said it. Oh Danny Boy.  All I could think of was the Muppet's version of Oh Danny Boy..  Oh .. boy oh boy....

But more than that,  here it was St. Patty's Day, a funeral for clearly a Spanish man, and I am singing Oh Danny Boy.  I truly cannot get much better than that.. unless they wanted Hava nagila as their sending song.  Could you imagine?

I do hope that everyone had a safe St. Patty's day..

Peace, love and coffee

Meliss-

Fin.... we will miss you...

Well, as most of you know, when Blackeye, my son's goldfish,  died it was pretty traumatic.  But, like a trooper, he set up the whole funeral (read fish funeral).  Well, unfortunately, our latest goldfish Fin passed away yesterday morning before school.  So I asked J if he wanted to give him a burial at sea, which he replied "No, Mommy, I don't want the sharks to eat him." I responded "well that is fine, what would you like to do" and of course he said that he wanted to bury Fin next to blackeye in the backyard (who knew that I would have a fish cemetary - seriously, you can't make this up) So we went out back and I dug a hole next to where Blackeye is and then J said.. "Mommy we have to call daddy, he should be here don't you think?" So J called my husband and J said "Daddy you should pull over" (he was on his way to school) And of course D could not pull over because he was on a major highway, so I said.. "Daddy can't pull over sweetheart.. but I am sure he will say a prayer for Fin".. So Jake put the cell phone on speaker and my husband started to say a prayer for the dead.  When it was over, J thanked his dad and then we both took a shovel of dirt and buried Fin. 

And of course, in true J fashion, he said " we should say a few words about Fin"  I said. "great .. you go first"  So J goes on to say  - "Fin, we loved having you around .. I am sure Tiger will miss you ... but now you can swim and have fun with Blackeye  - ok, mommy your turn".. I was speechless.. so profound and cool for an 8 year old. so I responded.. "Fin.. we will miss you....

Then we came inside and Jake got ready for school.. good think I did not put any goldfish crackers in his lunch... whew.

My son is awesome.

That's right, I said, Fish Funeral...

I knew it would happen and I dreaded the day when we would lose our first pet.  It was in the afternoon and I went into my son's room and I could only see one fish swimming in the tank - "where was the other one, " I thought.. I was looking frantically, then I glanced down on the bottom of the tank - and there he was .. Blackeye .. so listless, so free.. how were we going to tell our son - my husband called Jake to his room and explained to him that Blackeye had indeed died. He was so sad, devastated.   But as we wiped his tears away, he decided that he wanted to go and plan a funeral for Blackeye - and boy did he.

First of all, he said to me "Mommy, since you sing funerals all the time, are you available to sing for Blackeye's? " "of course, " I said.. "anything for Blackeye"

So the planning began -  who was invited, and who will talk. - It was all planned out.

The day finally came and my son brings to me a drawing of how he wanted Blackeye's altar/Bima to look - He comes into the room all proud and says "OK, mom, do you think you can make this?" I said sure - so I proceeded to make this Altar/Bima out of cardboard, I covered it with paper and my son decorated it - he then said he had to go and get drinks and snacks out for after the service.  Pretzels and your choice of Almond Milk, Water, or orange juice.

After this was all done, I told him that maybe he would like to write a little something about Blackeye to share with us - He decided to write a poem..  I was so proud of him - not only writing the poem - but it was such a great way for him to have closure with his first pet. 

So now it was time for "the people" to come - the people included my husband and I, our neighbor, his daughter (who is 23) and Arlo, the dog.  It was so sweet for them to come over for the service.

So the service begins and my son welcomes everyone - "Thank you for coming to Blackeye's service"

and proceded to say - "why don't we go around the room and all say something about Blackeye.  And  each of us said something - to the tune of  "Blackeye always looked so happy swimming around with Tiger" or "I remember when Blackeye first came home from the pet store".. very sweet sentiments -

So then it was J's turn to get up and talk about his pet.  He did so by reciting the poem he wrote:

Blackeye, Blackeye he's so great

Blackeye, Blackeye, he was in shape

Blackeye Blackeye he's so great

Blackeye, Blackeye I loved you so

Blackeye, Blackeye why did you have to go

Blackeye, Blackeye I love you so

As he is reading it - I am thinking.. "really, is this my kid?" I was so proud of him..That poem was so sweet and sentimental -  unreal for an 8 year old.  He then proceded to ask his Dad (my husband) to recite the mourner's Kaddish - so D did that - and J was very serious and tried to say it with him - our neighbors kind of just went with it. LOL

Anywho - then it was time to go outside and bury Blackeye - we all went out there (even the dog) and I had predug a hole for the funeral. As we lowered him in (ok, we opened the box and dropped him in ) Jake said "would anyone like to see him again before we bury him?"  We all passed on that offer - so we burried the little goldfish with the big  black eyes -  and then one by one, we threw a little dirt in the grave.  I finished the job -

My husband said - shouldn't we sing or something - and so he started to sing "Soon and very soon" A gospel tune - how perfect - and right when we were done singing.. Arlo took a crap. Yep.. right out there.. just proving that life 'moves' on.. ok, It was hysterical.. but when you have to go you have to go. - As we had a little laugh about that  - we all went back inside and just hung out -


See, now I can add "pet funeral singer" on my resume'.

Blackeye, we miss you but we did get a new fish - Fin - and Tiger and Fin are getting along swimingly.

;)

Peace, love and coffee-
Melissa-

Have you ever...

been to a funeral and really wondered what the family members were thinking? Sure, people are mourning, but you have to wonder about the people who don't show any emotion at all - it is really ineteresting to me - I have been observing this for such a long time - but I guess it depends on the circumstances - which of course makes sense.

How old was the person -
How did they die -
was it a long or short illness -

Soooo if I feel that I can't "read" the family or friends... I make it my mission to make eye contact with them - I know, that is horrible.

It seems when I sing for funerals, anytime I try to make eye contact with someone in the congregation,  they almost immediately turn away,  they don't react to the music, or the message I am trying to send.  The only ones that seem to look back are very old people and young children (who usually wave at me!) I find it so fascinating why people don't want to make that connection.  They almost look ashamed.  So then I start thinking (which we all know is never a good thing for me to do) 'what if they feel guilty about something they said or did to the deceased' and they cant look at me - it almost feels as though if they actually  look at me, I would be able to suddenly read their minds ....

All I have to say to that is..

Be careful what you wish for....

peace, love and coffee-

Meliss-

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Wow.. where has the time gone -

Hey everyone-

I have to apologize - I have been so busy, singing (not for funerals, mind you) and teaching and basic family stuff that I have neglected you.  I hope you can forgive me..

Know that I am here - but let's do something a little different..

Do you have any questions.. any thoughts.. I am opening up the floor to you -

Bring it!!!!!

Peace out..

Melissa

Justin.. he's back...

I have gotten some requests for more stories about Justin, my seminarian friend.. I can't disappoint the public!  He truly is a wonderfully funny sarcastic human being.. So, not only do I sing funerals, I also sing for weekend services and holidays and Justin is usually there.  So let's take a look at Easter and how Justin, our seminarian did....

Ah, where to begin -  So I get to church for Easter Vigil (sixth night of passover for all my Jewish friends) and there he is.. rushing around looking like a chicken with his head cut off. Trying to get everything organized - you would think he was the head honcho.  He was training the alter servers on how they will process down the aisle of the church.  "Now you two will follow the Father.. hellooo.. are you listening.. hello"  I love the blank stare that the Alter servers gave him.. cuz it just made his blood boil even more.. finally he got them to listen - and after that was over I went over to him and said - " Man, The Baptismal font looks great".. he stares at me and says, "It should, I would all day on it!" Earlier that day, after morning prayer, he had to drain it, scrub it, and  seal it.. I swear, If the priest thing does not work out he could get a job as a subcontractor for cleaning out ponds or pools with a landscaping company.  All he could do was complain that the font was filthy, and how did that happen, was it not sealed properly.. and on and on.. I just kept laughing - he was looking for the sympathy vote.. So not going to happen Justin...

Ok, sorry I sidetracked.. so back to Easter Vigil - It truly is a beautiful service.  It starts outside where the priest says many readings and what the light of Christ means and the meaning of the Easter Candle .  Then the Easter candle is lit - and they come into the church, where it is completely dark, and the Deacon comes in and sings.. "light of Christ".. and I lead the congregation, "thanks be to God"
During this time, the altar servers (after their intense training with Justin) light their candles and go to the end of a pew and they light the candles that the congregants are holding.. the whole church lights up slowly, (this is my favorite part of the service) Once the whole church is lit, I start singing the exultant - in the dark.. Thank God I have my candle! 

Finally, the lights go up - and our service begins - now during this special service, I have to sing three responsorial psalms.  Fine, I have done that before - and they are to be sung at what is called the Ambo. Which is where the gospel is read.  After all of this, I have to sing the alleluia, which is sung before the gospel is read - now realize that the during all of lent, the word alleluia as not been mentioned.

But I, quickly glancing at my script of what is to happen, see the words "gradual psalm." Not putting together that I had to go to the other side of the altar to my cantor stand where I do most of the singing.. so there I am singing the Alleluia from the ambo- and when I am done, Father Paul mouths to me.. "why did you do the alleluia from there?"  I said to myself.. 'oh crap'.. what was I thinking - I have done this a million times.. where was my brain.. I am blaming it on Justin.  But while this was going on, Justin was walking around following the Father with the incense - which was smoking so much I swear he was trying to smoke us out! 

So finally as the Gospel was being read, Justin was standing there with the incense, swinging it back and forth, to make more smoke.. I swear he was going to light himself or one of the priests on fire.

There is more to tell - but I think we all need to digest this part the first ... first.

Peace out kiddies..

Meliss-

This week- a question for you....

- This week we had two funerals in one morning - I know, right before the Easter holiday - How hard is that for families this time of year.  The first one of the morning was so  so sad.. Another sweetheart death - this time only 6 weeks apart. The Husband past six weeks prior to the wife - How does one deal with that - I can't even imagine.  Less than two months, your parents are gone. Poof.. that is it. I know we don't have any control over when we have to "graduate" to wherever we are going next, but here is the question of the day -

Would you be better off knowing that someone is going to die, or happen suddenly?


I truely would love to know what you all are thinking.. I am so grateful for my readers..

Peace, Love and Coffee

Meliss-

Where is my coat?

I know it has been awhile kids - and for this I apologize - but I am back!  Ok. so here we go -

Once again, I got the message that we are doing a funeral and not only is Ted back playing for me ( how happy am I!) We have to sing some stuff in Italian - but Ted forgot his Italian psalm book - so I had something in my folder that he had used before, so we were all set.  It was great to see him, he and I have such a rhythm when it comes to working together - it is just a bunch of happy.

Wait.. happy at a funeral?  What is wrong with me!  My bad. Anywho, on to the service. Our deceased was an older woman who had a very full life and loved to cook.  The eulogy that was given was short and very sweet - so we know that Ted was happy. As the funeral progressed, I was watching the altar servers of the day.  Not our norm.  Some people call these guys the "B Team" - horrible, right?  God bless them, they are older, so you know they don't move very fast and can't remember everything that they are supposed to be doing for the priest during the service. They looked so lost-

After communion was over and they were getting ready to incense the body  - Ted and I look over and there is one of the altar servers putting on his bright orange coat!  Ted shoots a glare at me like.. What the Hell is he doing now!  I just shook my head and went on with my singing (but you know deep down inside I was laughing my head off)  We knew that they were walking over to the cemetery and apparently, this gentleman did not think to put his coat in the back of the church - man his coat was bright.  Well, as they processed out of the church, we sang our last hymn Amazing Grace.  Now when were done, we went into the sacristy where our coats were and I went to get my coat and it was not there!  I turned to Ted and said.. "Where the heck is my coat?"  We look all around and then I came up with it - Orange coat man had taken my black coat to the back of the church thinking it was the priests!  It was comical! So I walk to the back of the church looking for my coat - and I look at one of the altar servers and ask.. have you seen my coat - it was back in the sacristy and now it is gone.  I mean it is a really nice coat.. but come on.  So our Orange Coat man picked up my coat and was more than apologetic, saying that he thought it was Father's coat.  "No problem" I said..

You just can't make this stuff up-


Peace out kiddies..

M

Holy smokes Batman!

So as I go to sing a service on Sunday, Father Paul tells me in passing that there will be another funeral this week.  No problem - that is why I leave my mornings open!  But he started to tell the story of this funeral that was coming up -

He was called out of a dinner to go to see this family who had just lost their wife, aunt. When he got there he met with the niece and nephew and their uncle (the deceased's husband) Randy. Now I need to preface this by saying Uncle Randy is pretty much deaf - can't really hear anything.  So the niece and nephew said that they thought their aunt was dead - and Father agreed. But then they said - "yes, and Uncle Randy got out a stethoscope and listened for a heartbeat and could not hear a thing!"  Ok, folks, what is wrong with this picture, of course Randy could not hear a thing.. HE IS DEAF! 

So after Father Paul finishes telling this story and I am laughing so hard.. his delivery was excellent -

But Randy and his wife Mary were a sweet couple - married 58 years.. unreal!  And before Mary died, Father Paul asked her if she was still in love with Randy  - and with a  burst of energy she said YES!!!
Father said it made his heart so warm.  It is all about the love -

So, yesterday was the funeral.  And Susan was there to play for me - and so we would not be  too surprised on what the music was going to be -( no hymns from 1745) - I called Father Paul and asked what we were to sing - he responded "Nothing out of the ordinary... the husband is deaf!"  Good point.  We did the normal stuff - but what happened during the service was funny to me.

There comes a part in the service where the Priest will incense the altar.  Now let me set up the scene for you - He has two altar servers - Fitz is 81 and Tom is 79 - a very spry bunch. Their job, while Father is doing his homily, is to go back and set up the incense so it is ready to go when it is time for the presentation of the gifts -

So they get it ready and the gifts are presented.  Then Father starts to put in the incense.. well was there incense!  The smoke from the incense was so much, Father was looking through the smoke to try and find me while he was incensing the altar.. I think it surprised him!  It did not phase me in the least, because I grew up in a eastern orthodox church where we had incense every Sunday for at least two hours straight - so when I saw this, it brought back nice memories.. but also made me laugh!

Then the dynamic duo (our spry servers) need to bring the wine and water to the priest so he can finish his job - well I am singing Ave Maria at this point and they brought the wine to him, but forgot the water - so I ended up, while singing, picking up the water and handing it to the server. I know, I know,... I am smoooth..... I never missed a beat. LOL

The rest of the service went fine - except when they were going to take the casket out of the church. Back in the day, the pall bearers from the  funeral home would turn the casket around  (toes first I guess) to head out of the church.  Now a days, this practice is normally not done anymore. So they tried to do it yesterday and Father turns around and says... "In this church we do not turn the casket around" The pall bearer huffed a little to him - so Father responded by saying.. "you may do it in other churches but not this one"

and off they went.

We ended with Eagle's Wings and ta da.. it was done..Later I asked Father why he was looking at me so funny during the presentation - he said he was trying to see me through the smoke!

Just another day in the life of  a funeral singer!

Peace out kiddies..

M-